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Leaders with high emotional intelligence are known to manage their emotions quite well. Start with any of these strategies.
Ever had a moment where your emotions nearly got the best of you? Maybe it came right before a big meeting, during a tough conversation, or when a teammate dropped the ball again?
Most of us have. And in leadership, those moments matter. They shape how people see us, how decisions get made, and how trust is built (or broken).
Managing your emotions doesn’t mean shutting them off. It means learning how to recognize what you’re feeling, pause before reacting, and choose a response that reflects your values—not just your stress.
Here are eight practical strategies to help you manage emotions with more clarity and confidence, even on the hard days.
1. Start with Self-Awareness
Managing your emotions begins with understanding them. That means noticing when you’re feeling irritated, anxious, disappointed, or overwhelmed—before those feelings drive your actions.
For example, if you’re leading a meeting and someone challenges your idea, you might feel defensive. Instead of snapping back, pause and ask yourself: What exactly am I feeling? And why?
Leaders who regularly check in with themselves—whether through journaling, quiet reflection, or even voice memos—begin to spot emotional patterns. Over time, this habit builds emotional intelligence and helps you recognize triggers before they turn into reactions.
2. Create Space Before You Respond
When emotions run high, your first reaction is rarely your best one. Creating space by pausing, taking deep breaths, or stepping away can prevent you from saying or doing something you’ll regret.
A leader I worked with would keep a sticky note on his desk that simply read “Wait 10 seconds.” That small reminder helped him pause before responding to tough emails or difficult questions.
Even something as simple as counting to ten or taking a quick walk around the building can reset your brain and allow you to respond with clarity rather than react out of emotion.
3. Shift Your Perspective
Strong emotions often come from seeing the situation through a narrow lens. Reframing helps you zoom out and gain a more balanced view.
For instance, when a project fails, it’s easy to spiral into frustration or self-doubt. But ask yourself: Will this still matter six months from now? What can I learn from it?
One CEO I coach uses the phrase “perspective before panic.” Before reacting to a missed quarterly goal, she reframes the experience as a data point, not a disaster, and leads her team in reviewing lessons learned. This shift changes the emotional tone from blame to problem-solving
4. Use Physical Tools to Calm Down
Your body and mind are deeply connected, so calming the body helps settle intense emotions. I once worked with a founder who kept a stress ball at his desk and used it during difficult investor calls; it gave him a physical outlet for nervous energy.
Others swear by mindfulness practices like box breathing or guided meditations before big presentations. These techniques help regulate your nervous system so you can respond from a place of calm.
5. Set Boundaries and Manage Your Stressors
If you’re constantly overbooked or always saying “yes” to requests, your emotional bandwidth shrinks. One of my clients now schedules “white space” into her calendar—two 30-minute blocks per day with no meetings, emails, or calls. These breaks help her recharge and prevent burnout.
Similarly, learning to say “no” or delegate non-essential tasks creates space for clearer thinking and steadier emotions. Emotionally intelligent leaders aren’t superhuman; they just manage their stress before it manages them.
6. Show Yourself Empathy
Perfection is a trap that often leads to shame and emotional exhaustion. You will lose your cool at some point—heck, you’re human just like everyone else. The key is to bounce back with grace.
If you snap at someone, own it, apologize, and move on without beating yourself up for hours. I’ve seen leaders who model this kind of self-empathy build trust with their teams.
One manager I worked with regularly started team meetings by saying, “Here’s where I didn’t show up as my best self last week, and here’s what I’m learning.” That kind of vulnerability creates room for growth, both for you and those around you.
7. Ask for Feedback
You might think you’re managing your emotions well, but others often see things you don’t. Asking trusted colleagues, mentors, or even team members for honest feedback helps reveal blind spots.
For instance, one leader I coach thought she was being “passionate” during planning meetings, but her team experienced her as “intense and dismissive.”
Hearing that feedback allowed her to adjust her tone and invite more collaboration. The key here is to listen without defensiveness. Ask questions like, “How do I come across when things get stressful?” or “What do you notice about how I handle feedback?”
8. Use Humor as a Release Valve
Laughter is one of the best ways to reset emotionally especially in high-stress environments. A well-timed joke (as long as it’s appropriate and in good taste) can dissolve tension and remind your team that we’re all human.
One CEO I know opens his all-hands meetings with a funny “fail of the week,” sharing a small, harmless mistake he made. It sets the tone that it’s okay to laugh, to be real, and to not take everything so seriously. Humor, when used with care, brings levity and builds connection.
This post originally appeared at inc.com.