The real work of leadership that many don’t talk about

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by Mark Magellan

Twelve years ago, I was interviewing with Suzanne “Suz” Gibbs Howard for a role at Ideo. Suz had been a partner at Ideo for about 20 years and had built her career as a human-centered consultant.

I was a young, aspiring designer who didn’t fully understand the enormity of the brand’s name. I just knew how to design learning experiences. I was 25 years old and had previously worked as a grassroots organizer, where I designed experiences to bring people together. After that, I found myself at an online university startup in San Francisco.

As fate would have it, Suz had an idea to build a learning platform (which would later become Ideo U), and she needed a junior instructional designer.

“Yes!” I blurted out when she asked if I’d be up for a six-week experiment. But in the hours after the call, the fear started to creep in. Sure, I was at a fast-paced, fairly chaotic startup, but it was still a steady job. I’d also just finished grad school with student loans. I also lived in a city where people paid $1,200 to live in a walk-in closet. I paced around my living room and called her back.

“Hey Mark,” she said.

“Hi Suz,” I said nervously, but still unaware that the question I was about to ask was ridiculous: “If this doesn’t work out . . . will you have my back?”

Suz said yes. But she’d later tell me that her “yes” carried a weight for her. That night, she brought it up with her husband: “Should I have said yes? I mean, I don’t know if it will work out. And he’s taking a risk.”

Great leaders have your back

Suz never once went back on her word. She had my back from that day forward. She mentored me—even when I was probably being difficult. She invested in me, signed me up for sessions with a leadership coach, and connected me with mentor after mentor. Even years after I left Ideo to move to Berlin, she’d go out of her way to see me and respond to all my notes within a day.

She knew the gravity of saying she’d have my back. She didn’t take it lightly. And she surely didn’t owe that promise to a 25-year-old kid. She was—and still is—a giant in the field of design innovation. But that’s her style of leadership: she walks alongside you.

That experience taught me just how important it was for leaders to have their people’s backs. And that requires the following: Continue reading →

5 Habits That Quietly Burn Out High-Performing CEOs

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Delegating and building systems to help you say no are just a start to gaining back your time—and mental health.

 

BY TRICIA SCIORTINO, CEO OF BELAY

 

More often, it looks like overcommitment disguised as discipline. You’re managing tasks you shouldn’t be touching. You’re bouncing from meeting to meeting with no time to think. You tell yourself it’s just a busy season.

But it’s not a season. It’s a system. And it’s costing you.

Burnout isn’t the price of ambition. It’s the result of misaligned leadership—too much energy spent on things that don’t need you.

If you’re a founder, CEO, or leader with more responsibilities than bandwidth, these five tactical shifts will help you reduce burnout without stepping away from your business.

1. Stop weighing in on everything

The average adult makes tens of thousands of decisions a day. And every single one—no matter how minor—drains your focus. That’s decision fatigue, and if you’re hitting it before lunch, you’re not alone.

What’s the fix? Fewer decisions, not faster ones.

As a leader, your job is to make the right decisions—not all of them. If you’re involved in every calendar tweak, Slack reply, or vendor question, you’re not leading. You’re reacting.

Build a team you trust and then let them lead.

Years ago, I caught myself doing this exact thing. I’d hire smart people, then still insert myself into every detail. Eventually, someone I trusted said, “If you trust me, act like it.”

That one line changed how I show up as a leader. It might change you, too.

2. Quit wearing multitasking like a medal

Multitasking sounds efficient. In reality, it’s mental sabotage. Every context switch chips away at your clarity and compounds your stress.

Instead, time-block your day by function. Mornings for strategy. Afternoons for meetings. One day a week for no calls at all. You’ll start to notice the space you need to think strategically because thinking is the actual job of a CEO. And it can’t be rushed.

The more complex your business becomes, the more structure your mind needs. That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.

3. Build a system that says no for you

Most leaders don’t burn out from hard decisions—they burn out from too many minor ones. If every new request still lands on your plate, you’ve accidentally built a funnel to fatigue.

Set boundaries that work without you. Designate someone like an assistant to filter the noise, say no on your behalf, and protect your focus.

One of our team members struggled for years with overwork until we added just one strategic support role. The result? Fewer missed deadlines, less stress, and more time spent on what mattered.

Saying no isn’t about being unavailable. It’s about being intentional.

4. Offload anything you repeat more than twice

If it happens more than twice a week, it doesn’t need you.

Calendar management. Inbox triage. Status updates. Basic approvals. All of it can be handed off.

I used to be in every project meeting. Now? I show up to cast vision and make key decisions. The team owns the middle. I get updates. They drive execution. That shift gave me space to focus on new growth strategies and financial oversight—the work only I can do.

If you’re still holding onto repeatable work, ask yourself: Is this truly the best use of my time? Or just the most familiar?

5. Rest like it’s required, because it is

Most overwhelmed CEOs don’t need a three-month sabbatical. They just need two uninterrupted hours a day where no one is asking for anything.

That kind of white space is what fuels your ability to lead. Not hustle. Not noise. Not checking your inbox from the sidelines of your kid’s soccer game.

Protect your energy like your bottom line. Because it is.

You don’t need to disappear. You just need to stop leaking energy at every turn. Your business will survive your silence. In fact, it might depend on it.

Final thought

Burnout doesn’t always feel like failure. Sometimes it feels like progress, until the wheels come off.

You’re not failing. You’re just doing too much of the wrong work. Fix the system, not yourself.

Sustainable leadership starts with knowing what’s yours to carry—and what’s not.

Source: Inc Magazine

6 emotions that come up in difficult conversations—and how to handle them professionally

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Story by Amy Jacobson
Difficult conversations are something we tend to avoid at all costs. Whether it’s about underperformance, conflict, a personal issue, or an unsuccessful job application, entering any difficult conversation triggers fear within ourselves and the person on the other end. Our brain’s flight or fight mechanism is triggered, with emotions taking the lead, and we frequently find ourselves in defensive mode looking for a win.

Whether it be after a keynote at a conference or in a workplace emotional intelligence program, I’m often approached by people who are struggling with difficult conversations. They’re gripped with frustration, fear, and exhaustion when they need to initiate a conversation and address an issue (or, on the other end, when they feel the repercussions of a poorly handled situation).

Dealing with emotions in difficult conversations

While we’ve become more focused on emotional intelligence in recent years, we still have a long way to go when we initiate difficult conversations.

The language and emotional undertone of the words we use can exacerbate the emotions a person is feeling—or help them own it, process it, and move forward. Here’s how to have an emotionally intelligent response to the feelings that you may encounter when you begin a difficult conversation with another person, along with what to avoid.

1. Upset

Being upset is no different from any other emotion in that it has appropriate and severe levels.

We have higher severity levels when fear is driving our emotions, or it’s something that means a lot to us. Sometimes, our hormones can also be out of whack, meaning that we cry more easily than others. Here’s how to receive upset.

  • Your best approach: Getting upset in front of others (especially at work) tends to be embarrassing. Respond to the emotion, rather than the message delivered.
  • Ask: Would you like to take a break, go to the bathroom or get a support person? How can I best support you through this?
  • Avoid: Saying “I know how you must be feeling,” “I know this can’t be easy,” or “I am not loving delivering this message either.” Avoid any sentence that starts with “I” or is related to you. You don’t know how your companion is feeling, nor should you assume you do. It’s not about you at all.

2. Anger

Anger is an intense emotion. Our mind is being driven by our emotional brain, so there is no logic in play. Quite often we can’t (or won’t) hear anything people are saying until the intensity decreases, or we have finished saying what we have to say. Here’s how to receive anger.

  • Your best approach: Listen and pause; let them get it off their chest. Once they have aired their frustrations, use the same approach as you would with upset: ask them if they would like to take a break or how you can best support them through this. If their anger becomes inappropriate, pause the conversation and let everyone take a break and regain control of their emotions.
  • Avoid: Our fight or flight response is often triggered at this point, so our natural defense mechanism is ready for battle or protection. Don’t defend or try to justify your reasoning or message: this will only make their anger response even more intense. Avoid responding with anger, too.

3. Denial

When our mind doesn’t like what we are hearing, we can sometimes go into total denial to avoid the emotions being faced and felt. We put up barriers in our mind to block emotions and truly convince ourselves that this isn’t happening. Here’s how to receive denial.

  • Your best approach: Reiterate the facts and reality of the situation clearly and explain the next steps.
  • Ask: Does what I told you make sense? Do you understand what this means and what comes next?
  • Avoid: Some people take time to process and accept information. Trying to force them to do it instantly is never wise—and is likely to lead to more denial. Avoid getting frustrated, telling someone how to accept the conversation or making statements. Ask questions instead to help them process it in their head.

4. Meh

When the care factor or emotional response is low, it can be very confusing. People tend to be “meh:” the expression that they couldn’t care less about what is happening. They might seem disinterested, or even like they aren’t listening. Here’s how to receive it.

  • Ask: Do you have all the information you need? Do you understand the outcome, next steps, and expectations? How can I best support you from here? After this, it is best to end the meeting but keep an eye on them and revisit the conversation if required.
  • Avoid: Don’t try to make it a big deal if they seem unfazed. This might be a cover for a deeper emotion, or they might not have processed the conversation yet. Or it may simply not be a big deal to them. Don’t keep them there and continue to talk until you get the reaction you want or expected.

5. Curiosity

Tough conversations can spark many unanswered questions. Questions aren’t a bad thing and are a part of effective communication. Here’s how to actively listen to curiosity and answer questions.

  • Ask: Are there any other questions or thoughts you would like to share? How are you feeling about the information? Do you want to talk about it?
  • Avoid: This shouldn’t be a one-way conversation. Don’t end the conversation before they have finished or have enough answers and information. Avoid laughing at any questions or comments.

6. Positivity

Sometimes, something we believe will be a tough conversation isn’t one. For some people, it’s a relief to have the conversation or to have the issue out in the open. For others, it’s an actual win aligned to their priorities.

  • Ask: Are you happy to share more about what you are feeling and why? Is there anything more I can do to support you? Keep an eye on them and revisit the conversation if required, especially if their emotions change.
  • Avoid: A positive response can catch you off-guard, so it’s important to manage your own emotions both visually and verbally. Avoid cutting the conversation short or assuming this positive response will stay positive. It may be a protective front, or other emotions may follow.

Following the emotion through the conversation brings the human factor back into communication. While it can seem a drawn-out process or distraction, it will get us a better interaction, understanding and outcome.

Adapted from The Emotional Intelligence Advantage by Amy Jacobson, available at all leading retailers. Visit www.amyjacobson.com.au for more.

This post originally appeared at fastcompany.com

How to Hire for Cultural Fit and Avoid Costly Mistakes

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by Bruce Eckfeldt

 

A bad cultural fit can erode trust, create friction, and even drive away top talent.

Having founded, scaled, and successfully exited a high-growth company, I’ve seen firsthand how hiring the right people can make or break an organization. As an Inc. 500 CEO-turned-business coach, I’ve helped countless leaders refine their hiring strategies to ensure strong individual performance and a thriving company culture.

While technical skills and experience are essential, hiring employees who align with your company’s values and mission is the key to long-term success. A bad cultural fit can erode trust, create friction, and even drive away top talent. However, with the right approach, you can build a team that performs and strengthens your organization from the inside out. Here’s how to do it.

1. Define and validate your company culture

Before assessing cultural fit, you need to be crystal clear on what your culture is. Many companies have aspirational values posted on their walls but fail to live them daily. To make culture a hiring tool, ensure your core values are more than just words—they should be consistently modeled and reinforced behaviors within your organization. Validate them by talking to employees, observing workplace interactions, and ensuring they align with business decisions. Culture isn’t what you wish it to be—it’s what happens when no one is watching.

2. Weave your values into job postings

Your hiring process should filter in candidates who align with your values and filter out those who don’t. Embedding your company’s culture into the job description is a great way to do this. Instead of using generic job postings, incorporate your values into how you describe the role and the work environment. Use language that reflects how your company operates, and be upfront about the expectations regarding collaboration, decision-making, and accountability. This will naturally attract candidates who resonate with your culture and deter those who don’t. Continue reading →

8 Ways Leaders with Emotional Intelligence Master Their Emotions

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Story by Marcel Schwantes

Leaders with high emotional intelligence are known to manage their emotions quite well. Start with any of these strategies.

Ever had a moment where your emotions nearly got the best of you? Maybe it came right before a big meeting, during a tough conversation, or when a teammate dropped the ball again?

Most of us have. And in leadership, those moments matter. They shape how people see us, how decisions get made, and how trust is built (or broken).

Managing your emotions doesn’t mean shutting them off. It means learning how to recognize what you’re feeling, pause before reacting, and choose a response that reflects your values—not just your stress.

Here are eight practical strategies to help you manage emotions with more clarity and confidence, even on the hard days.

1. Start with Self-Awareness

Managing your emotions begins with understanding them. That means noticing when you’re feeling irritated, anxious, disappointed, or overwhelmed—before those feelings drive your actions.

For example, if you’re leading a meeting and someone challenges your idea, you might feel defensive. Instead of snapping back, pause and ask yourself: What exactly am I feeling? And why?

Leaders who regularly check in with themselves—whether through journaling, quiet reflection, or even voice memos—begin to spot emotional patterns. Over time, this habit builds emotional intelligence and helps you recognize triggers before they turn into reactions. Continue reading →